Saturday, February 14, 2004
 
Fron the desk of... Long Gone John !


first i'd like to thank god (almighty) for giving me the strength and courage to venture into a snappy new career so incredibly late in life and i'd like to thank my 3rd grade teacher, miss pellingrad for not having me suspended when she caught me and becky sue mosely in the coat room stealing twinkeys and ding dongs from the other kids lunches and for that time she caught me giving chili fuentes a nickle for lifting her uniform up over her head...
i'd also like to thank all the little people who wish they were big people, but will never be cuz you have to do that bone stretching thing when you are really young and also cuz it is very very very expensive...it is also absolutely mandatory that i thank the hobos that lived under the bridge by my house...they were such a great inspiration to me at an early impressionable age...it was leonard the mole, paco, mondo and one-leg tommy that taught me to expect and to prepare for the many disappointments that i'd have to face in my life and to never ever throw away the crust off my bread but instead feed it to the riverbed birds because when the birds got really nice and plump they said you can kill with big rocks and eat them...paco said he especially liked them with dirty rice and crackers...
i'd also like to thank mr finkelmeyer my boyscout troop leader for not molesting me like some scout leaders do...okay back to business :
i gotta tell you, i am so f'n excited i just might soil myself, not just because soon i'll be incredibly rich and i'll be able to afford the regiment of plastic surgery that i've dreamed of for so long, but because i am involved in necessaries toy foundation and am at least partially responsible for bringing quality toys to children, undeserving young adults and to peculiar old men such as myself...
our first figure, enid has turned out so amazing it really feels as though i'm standing at the threshold of a very successful business enterprise...so if i may i'd like to thank god (almighty) for giving me the strength oh, wait i already did that...i mean i'd like to thank the hobos that lived under the bridge by my house oh, wait i did that too...well, 'spose i could thank dan clowes for creating enid in the first place and i could thank nathan the semi-magnificent for sculpting her and i guess i could even thank my partner in crime, the g-man and of course i'd like to thank god (almighty) for giving me the strength oh, forget it i gotta go clean out the cat box...till when like that...

two-bit johnny xx

sympathy13@aol.com


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